Don't expect the unreasonable from you child

Expectations are important in life as they form the foundation of our conduct and behavior. Parents have expectations that form a vague picture of what their children should grow up to be. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires.

The key is to have positive and reasonable expectations for your children. How do you establish a set of positive child discipline expectations? How do you know if your child discipline expectation is even reasonable? These aren't easy questions to answer.

How do you know if an expectation is reasonable? The first thing to do is research. Does it seem like a lot of work? It just might be. Parenting isn't easy. You make it up as you go along, based on the foundations and parenting advice left to you by others and your own heart to guide you.

And, inside, look at yourself objectively, or put yourself in the shoes of the child and you will get a fairly good idea whether it is you or your children who are being unreasonable.

Children cannot be compared, and it is one of the most common mistakes parents make when they compare their child with the neighbor’s. If your child happens to be average in studies, try your best to help him improve but learn to accept it. All children are not born to be geniuses. Your child might have some other talent; look for it and develop that instead of harping on grades.

Having unreasonable expectations of your children leads you to disappointment and your children to feeling like they can't measure up. Neither of these situations is positive and should be avoided since they tend to lead to child behavioral problems.

Once you've established what is reasonable as an expectation in child behavior or child discipline in different areas, formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Make sure to reward your children for meeting those expectations and encourage them to reach more, once they've reached one.

Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don’t push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don't force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That's placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.

You can visit visit http://www.good-child-guide for some good tips on effectively dealing with children's behavior problems.

Article Source: http://www.articlemonk.com

Dr. Noel Swanson has a free newsletter on children's behavior problems and also writes frequently for Yes Parenting website.
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