Golf Quotes For A Good Laugh

Golf is a game of glory and humiliation. You can shoot a birdie on one hole and hit it onto the roof of a house on the next. They have yet to build the rollercoaster that can even remotely compare and golfers know it as these quotes show.

1. I learned you can't drink whiskey and play golf. - John Daly

2. Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose. - Winston Churchill

3. The only sure rule in golf is - he who has the fastest cart never has to play the bad lie. - Mickey Mantle

4. Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. - Tiger Woods

5. Fifty years ago, 100 white men chasing one black man across a field was called the Ku Klux Klan. Today it's called the PGA Tour. - Unknown

6. Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective. - Huxtable Pippey

7. In baseball you hit your home run over the right-field fence, the left-field fence, the center-field fence. Nobody cares. In golf everything has got to be right over second base. - Ken Harrelson

8. Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick. - P.J. O'Rourke

9. Don't play too much golf. Two rounds a day are plenty. - Harry Vardon

10. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing. - Dave Barry

11. Columbus went around the world in 1492. That isn't a lot of strokes when you consider the course. - Lee Trevino

12. Play it as it lies is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is Wear it if it clashes. - Henry Beard

13. Some of us worship in churches, some in synagogues, some on golf courses. - Adlai Stevenson

14. The harder you work, the luckier you get. - Gary Player

15. The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. - Pete Dye