My Child Won't Go to Bed!

After a fully-packed day looking after the children, you long for bedtime. But, your child just doesn’t like the idea of going to bed before his parents. This is a common experience of most parents. You want a bit of peace and quiet at the end of a day spent in feeding them, washing clothes, clearing their mess, putting up with temper tantrums, and many other things. You ask them to go to bed, but that’s exactly what they don’t like to do.

One out of three children just refuses to go to bed before their parents!

So, if you are in that situation, here are some pointers that might help:

To begin with, you have to assess how much sleep your child needs. Though children under 12 usually need about 10 to 12 hours sleep, there are exceptions that need much less sleep. Plus, the need for sleep keeps decreasing as they grow. Younger kids need more than older ones. Now, if your child can function well enough on, say, 6 or 8 hours sleep, you cannot force him/her to sleep more than that. Remember, you can’t force sleep on yourself, then why expect the child to fall asleep when you want it happen?

After a few days you will get a fairly good idea how much is your child’s genuine requirement of sleep. Then make sure he/she gets that much despite all odds. Kids will try to stretch their waking hours and they will keep pulling up one tactic or another to manipulate you to delay bedtime. For instance, they will ask for a drink or some such thing. They have a way of making you feel guilty or sorry for them. Don’t fall into the trap. You have given enough attention to them; now, it is their turn to observe bed time rules.

Clear about the rules? Okay, the third step is to put this into practice. Establish a bedtime routine. Again, the younger they are, the more important this is. Start well before the target bedtime and lead them through the steps: getting changed, doing teeth and bathroom, reading a story, lights out. Be willing to give them your full attention during this routine.

Then, when it comes to lights out, be firm and calm. Make it clear that you expect them to stay in bed. Leave the door open or a night-light on if they need that. You could also put on some gentle, soothing music if they respond well to that.

Now it is crunch time. What do you do if they then get out of bed, or call for your attention? The trick here is to reassure them if they genuinely need that, without giving them so much attention that it reinforces their getting-out-of-bed behavior.

Children are inventive; they will invent excuses, problems. One way to tackle this is to set a timer and tell them that you will check on them in ten minutes, if they stay in bed. The trick is to begin with a small time and then gradually increase it. Make sure you live by your promise, but don’t overstay. Just come and tuck them in, caress them and leave.

For your own peace of mind, you may want to go on checking till they are asleep. You might find this very tiring in the beginning, but remember, habits are not formed in a day. You need to put in some effort to get your child into a bedtime routine.

Remember to be positive by praising your child for staying quietly in bed. Also, be very particular about keeping your promise by going to check exactly at the time fixed. This is where the timer comes in handy.

If your child gets up before your next check, you can do the following:

First, send them firmly back to bed. Don't shout; just make it clear you mean business. Then remind them that you WILL be up to tuck them in again, but it won't be until the timer says so, and now you are going to have to restart the timer as they got out of bed. Having done that, ignore them until the time for your next check.

Finally, remember to reward them for success in staying nicely in bed. A star chart or similar works well for this.

Article Source: http://www.articlemonk.com

Dr. Noel Swanson offers free expert parenting tips and advice on his website - you will also find a free chapter to his highly acclaimed book, the GOOD CHILD Guide. Why not discuss parenting issues with other parents on a parenting forum?
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