What Can You Do When Your Child Steals?

There are a lot of reasons kids steal. Some kids steal for comfort, to impress a group of friends, get retaliate against their parents, or sometimes to simply get the things they want.

Sometimes, the excitement generated by stealing is motivation enough. As many as one in four kids have stolen something - although most will never do it again.

Along with this, your main emphasis needs to be on promoting honesty. Use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, as a starting point for talking about honesty, integrity, and family morals.

At the same time, model it yourself. What do you do when you find a wallet in the street? Or when you are given too much change in a shop? Your children will be watching you, and learning.

Your primary emphasis is on promoting honesty. You can use everyday events, such as stories from television or school, to begin to instill the values of honesty, integrity, and family morals.

If you do catch them stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper will not help, and may even act as a reward for them. Secondly, do not tempt them to lie their way out of it.

Keep your eyes on your children. Catch them in the act of being good instead of focusing on when they are doing something wrong. Children respond to reward and praise for their little acts of honesty. This helps promote a culture of honesty in the home.

If you happen to catch your child stealing, stay calm. Losing your temper, yelling or screaming will not help, and may even be perceived as an attention reward for them. Secondly, do not allow them to lie to excuse their behavior.

If taken from a stranger, confiscate the goods (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine.

Bring the item back to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.

Ask the victim to tell you what kind of service your child could perform. If you don't know the victim, then a friend, family member or neighbor could be the beneficiary.

Taking the stolen property back is his opportunity to do the right thing. If refuses, you then have no alternative but to impose an even higher penalty. The message must always be that doing the honest thing, even if it is after the event, is still the best policy.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

As we said, taking the stolen property back is the first opportunity to do the right thing. If your child refuses, you then have no option but to impose an even stiffer penalty. The most important message to convey is that doing the honest thing, even after the event, is still the best policy.

Sometimes the temptation is to impose a long grounding sentence. Remember, jail does not reform hardened criminals, so expecting a different result with your own child is not realistic.

Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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Need more parenting help for your kids? Why not take a look at Dr. Noel Swanson's parenting newsletter. His book, The GOOD CHILD Guide, is also very highly recommended. You can get it from his website here: www.good-child-guide.com
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